By ANEEKA SIMONIS
FROM one violent household to another, a young Pakenham mum is ashamed to admit she now endures the same type of abuse that was hurled at her mother years ago.
It’s not something ‘Erin’, 19, is proud of.
In fact, the mother of two wants to break free of her abusive relationship for the sake of her two young children who are both under two years old.
She does not want her son and daughter to repeat the cycle of violence in their lives.
But statistics say they may.
Children who experience violence in the home, male or female, often go on to emulate those behaviours of violence or violence tolerance in their intimate relationships as an adult.
Erin appeared uncomfortable when she recalled early memories of her mother being attacked by her father.
Asked why she remains in her abusive relationship she replied that it feels normal.
“I didn’t grow up in a happy home. I saw my mum and dad fight all the time,” she said.
“I guess you get this sense that it’s normal (abuse in a relationship). I feel like my daughter will grow up to do the same thing in her own home.”
The teen mum said she has been subjected to physical, emotional, mental and verbal abuse at the will of her current partner, however her previous partner was worse.
She escaped him – but has not yet managed to break free from the man who quickly devolved into a controlling abuser during their relatively brief relationship.
“The hardest part is leaving,” she said.
“It’s tough, particularly when you are in a position where you can’t do much about it.
“It’s not something I would want anyone else to experience.”
Family violence victims often feel as if they are unable to escape their relationship.
For Erin, it’s her partner’s financial control over her and her children that is most crippling.
“Sometimes when I run out of my own money for the kids, he won’t give me anymore,” she said.
Statistics indicate a woman will endure more than 30 assaults before making a report.
Erin said despite her current situation, she hopes that she will one day be with a non-violent partner – allowing her to provide a positive environment for her children to model their future behaviours and relationships around.
Pakenham police’s Senior Sergeant Graeme Stanley said it is difficult to unlearn violent behaviours or attitudes which tolerate, expect or accept violence in relationships.
“The biggest impact (of family violence) is the education of children that the behaviour they are witnessing is acceptable and once installed it is difficult to change,” he said.
“Educating them to respect and treat each other equally continues to be the focus of behavioural and generational change.”
In 2013-14, children were witness or victim to more than 40 per cent of family violence incidents in Cardinia shire.
The Australian Government says that exposing children to domestic violence has become recognised as a form of child abuse.
