By ANEEKA SIMONIS
FATHERING through fear may has been acceptable in the past, but it’s not now, according to an academic helping shape positive parenting in Cardinia Shire.
A recent forum strategising ways dads, particularly those overcoming violent or neglectful tendencies, could better engage with their kids, shone a light on the huge influence adult males have on young boys and the need for positive leadership.
Headed by University of Melbourne Professor Cathy Humphreys, the Pakenham forum identified reasons why some men don’t engage in violence prevention programs and the impact this neglect can have on children.
“Fathering through fear is a very destructive way of fathering, and we need to see that change… children are very keen on this,” she said.
“Children can tell us more than anyone else why we need to put our focus in this space.”
Her words were a poignant reminder for some 100 involved south-east welfare professionals who had earlier heard a child recall the tragic physical and mental abuse endured under the care of his father.
Support groups on board to influence change included Windermere, SECADA Drug and Alcohol Counselling, Relationships Australia, Better Men Australia, Carrington Health, Anglicare Victoria and City of Casey’s Dads Matter program.
They identified their greatest task at hand was making sure men actively engage in change programs, particularly those on court orders.
Some men engaged in court-ordered behavioural change programs do so to “tick a box”, stunting their long-term chance of recovery and healing, a south-east health professional raised.
It is a problem identified as systemic among repeat offenders, and was in urgent need of attention.
But shockingly, the forum unearthed a top reason men do not engage in behavioural change services was due to a perception that there was “no need”.
A whopping 80 per cent of Cardinia Shire, City of Casey and Greater Dandenong welfare providers assessed that stigma, fear, denial and pride held men back from properly engaging in these services, while 64 per cent found men did not perceive a need in changing their behaviour.
Importantly, the forum focused on developing positive male role models who do not use power, control or abuse.
The strategy aligns with Cardinia Shire Council’s Community Strategic Plan 2014-2019.
“Men and boys both receive and send “powerful messages about relationships, violence and power and re-shaping/creating a positive male identity and involvement in family life is therefore crucial to addressing issues of family violence,” the strategy outlined.
