Independence Day: Resurgence (M)
Starring: Jeff Goldblum, Liam Hemsworth
WE’VE waited 20 years for this sequel – and maybe they needed another 20 to get it right.
Clocking in at well over two hours, this one still leaves you wanting far, far less.
After a Saturday night session, the whole family is hating on Independence Day: Resurgence, with three out of 10 the typical mark.
First-born child says the film was made up overnight by a 15-year-old in a basement – and he’s 14, so he’d know.
Twenty years after the original battle, Earth has adopted much alien technology from the last fight and feels ready for the next stanza.
A 300-mile diameter, angry-looking alien mother ship that straddles the entire Atlantic Ocean soon puts paid to that idea.
They’re here for our core, and it looks like they’ll get it.
Many lasers, and not much light, ensue.
The original film was a lovable popcorn classic, and had landmark special effects for its time.
This one upsells the special effects from fries to a McFlurry, but leaves the film with a small, cold, barren pea of a heart.
A million minor characters are randomly introduced and killed off like flies – but don’t worry, you won’t miss them at all.
The plot is risible; attempted humour in the script falls flat.
Will Smith allegedly bowed out when they wouldn’t meet his $50 million asking price. It might have been the only way to save this utter turkey.
The narrative is so jumpy, so stop-start, that it feels like the better part of an hour has been cut from the thing – in an entirely random fashion.
And without a heart, all the special effects in the world can’t engage a viewer.
If this was an old-time school report, it would say “must try harder”.
If it was a modern school report, it would read: “Must increase sustained efforts to achieve improved operational outcomes”.
Either way, this turkey gobbles.
– Jason Beck
