Todd Sampson’s BodyHack
Channel 10, 8.30pm Tuesdays
IF YOU’VE ever nursed a secret desire to see all-round beloved nice guy Todd Sampson genteelly tortured – just a very little bit – then this, my friends, is the show for you.
A great many of the female persuasion seem to have a deep and abiding affection for the chap, which leaves me beyond puzzled.
Pleasingly, a local survey of the fairer sex revealed a lack of support for the Sampson-ite, with dire hints made at an urge to slap the smug smile off his face – a threat previously reserved only for party animal Corey Worthington. The phrase “know-it-all” may well have been mentioned.
In deference to our defamation laws, I could perhaps tactfully say that Sampson’s particular brand of wide-eyed, self-righteous earnestness is not to my liking.
Perhaps one incident from his new show speaks to my heart: at one point the near-naked Sampson (why do I think this is not coincidental?) reveals the large timberwolf tattoo on his right shoulder blade.
I know instinctively that this will be his “spirit animal”. ’Nuff said.
Anyhoo, the fact remains that, love him or loathe him, we’re all tuning in to see what Todd will do next, which I guess makes him a sort of Howard Stern of the left wing.
The theory of the show has Todd putting himself through a series of edge-of-the-envelope, increasingly gruelling challenges. There’s a thin veneer of “science” describing what’s happening to his body during the torture sessions.
The first episode involved him in mixed martial arts action, which saw him cop some thoroughly pleasing whacks and, in the ultimate staged humiliation, be choked out by a cute slip of a girl.
Watching Sampson’s eyes roll sweetly up to the ceiling as he slipped gently into the land of dreams was well worth the price of admission all on its own.
But this is just the beginning. Looks like the dead-set highlight will be the episode in which Sampson plays with the French Foreign Legion, and gets put through the wringer by some seriously hard units.
Legend has it the episode saw Sampson often come close to screaming his safe word – “Baltimore” – with the last breath in his rapidly fading lungs.
Wouldn’t miss it for the world.
– Jason Beck
