The Tivendale-Baker clan: Claire with Isabella, Natalie, and Kylie and Gabriella. 43254 Picture: Stewart Chambers
By Jade Lawton
BABY Isabella has completed the Tivendale- Baker’s ‘house full of girls.’
Same-sex couple Claire and Kylie Tivendale-Baker welcomed Isabella, their third daughter, on 15 February at St John of God Hospital in Berwick.
There is no doubt Isabella is loved – her parents have gone through an emotional and sometimes difficult process to have her and her sisters.
To begin their family the couple had to travel interstate to Tasmania, because under Victoria’s laws of the time, single women and lesbians were not allowed to access IVF.
They travelled to a fertility clinic in the Apple Isle five or six times without success until Kylie was deemed ‘medically infertile,’ a legal loophole that allowed them to access IVF in Victoria.
“We underwent counselling and police checks – which seemed excessive, because anyone in the street can have kids without a check,” Kylie said.
And although many imagine couples browsing through a book of potential sperm donors, the choice is limited – at the time, only two men were on record in the entire state. Details are limited to hair colour, eye colour, weight and medical history.
After making their selection, they began the emotionally stressful process.
“The drugs you have to take mess with your hormones, and there is constant doubt and worry,” Claire explained.
“Especially that first one, you just never think it is going to happen. For us, who weren’t allowed to adopt, if this didn’t work there were no other options,” Kylie said.
“It’s probably not as expensive as people think. You are out of pocket two to three thousand dollars, but there are a lot of steps that can go wrong. And if it goes wrong you have to start all over again.”
Kylie gave birth to Natalie on 26 June 2006. Gabriella followed, born to Claire on 20 November 2007, and Isabella completed the family on 15 February.
Kylie and her siblings run Finn’s Bulk Hauling, a third-generation trucking business, while Claire cares for the toddlers and newborn Isabella.
Claire and Kylie are often approached by friends and family to talk to or offer advice.
“There are not many same-sex role models out there. I’ve had so many family and friends say I know someone, can you chat to them,” Claire said.
The couple have been together for nine years and celebrated their relationship with a commitment ceremony in 2003.
Their relationship was only recently recognised by Centrelink – before that, the law classed them as single mothers.
Kylie said it seemed same-sex couples were getting small concessions, but legal marriage didn’t appear too close on the horizon.
“Everyone has a right to have a partner and get married. If you don’t want to that’s fine, but we are not given that choice,” Kylie said.
“I don’t see why my marital status is asked of by anyone else. I’m quite happy with who I am and we are just another normal family.”
