From pain, strength

Rebecca Scantlebury, pictured with her son Jeremy, is an ambassador for SIDS and Kids. 48827 Rebecca Scantlebury, pictured with her son Jeremy, is an ambassador for SIDS and Kids. 48827

By Lilly O’Gorman
REBECCA Scantlebury knows she has been through the worst experience a mother could ever face.
She lost her newborn son, Austin, just 20 minutes after he was born.
But this Pakenham mother also knows she would never change her experiences.
“They have made me the person I am now. I probably wouldn’t have had Jeremy if it didn’t happen,” she said.
Rebecca is now mother to three-year-old Jeremy, and an ambassador for SIDS and Kids, promoting the foundation that helps mothers who have lost babies to sudden infant death syndrome, neo-natal deaths and still births.
This is her first year as an ambassador, after losing her son six years ago, and she hopes that she can help other mothers suffering trauma similar to what she has been through.
“I hope that my story can help. I guess it is the only real positive that you can take from the situation,” she said.
“I think it definitely makes you a better person, going through a trauma like this. I look at life very differently now. I don’t take anything for granted and I think it has made me a better mother.”
The most important advice that Rebecca can pass on to others, she said, was for mums to talk about their loss.
“Talk about it to everyone, even if they don’t know what you are going through. Your baby can’t live, but he or she can live in your memory; they can live through you,” she said.
Rebecca’s sister-in-law also suffered the loss of her baby two years before Rebecca. Rebecca said being able to talk to her sister-in-law was very important.
“It is a very taboo subject, losing a child – not many people want to talk about it, and people don’t want to ask me questions,” she said.
“But I want to preserve the memory of my baby. Not a day, not an hour goes by where I don’t think about him. Jeremy knows who his older brother is, and he calls the cemetery ‘Austin’s park’.”
Rebecca also hopes that others can take courage, like she did, to move past the trauma of losing a child, and fall pregnant again.
“I desperately wanted to fall pregnant again, but the fear of losing another child nearly stopped me. In the end, though, the fear of never raising a child at all was greater.”
Jeremy’s birth wasn’t without its complications. He was in intensive care for three weeks due to lung problems.
“I couldn’t imagine not being a mum, it is so rewarding.”
Red Nose Day is on June 25, and will be marked with a balloon release at Albert Park.