Machete a blunt instrument

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Machete Kills (MA15+)
Starring: Danny Trejo, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga
REAL-life convict and legendary bad-ass Danny Trejo and his real-life prison tatts are back for round two of the Machete franchise – Machete Kills.
And boy, has director Robert Rodriguez jumped the shark with this one.
Machete, whose pants hide a big … machete … is back at the special request of the US President (an inspired turn by Charlie Sheen) to thwart the evil plans of an international arms dealer.
Eye candy is provided by the unfathomably gorgeous Amber Heard – and Lady Gaga, if you roll that way.
There’s a drug dealer in cahoots with the arms dealer as well, but let’s not get too excited about the plot.
The body count mounts, the blood is delivered in buckets, and at one point Machete throws a man’s entrails into the whirling blades of a helicopter, with dire results.
In short, the faint magic of the original is erased as Rodriguez disappears up his own fundament. It’s all very Tarantino-esque … it’s just not very good.
Just don’t tell Danny Trejo I said so.
– Jason Beck