By sports editor Russell Bennett
“Tomorrow may never come”.
That was one of the simple, yet lasting messages stemming from the Cancer Council of Victoria charity day held by the Lang Lang football and netball clubs at the Showgrounds recently.
Netball president Wendy Thom spoke about her own battle with cancer, and her story left the room simply awestruck.
“Some of you may know that four years ago, that was me in the pink beanie,” she said, pointing to a photo of herself in a clubroom full of Lang Lang supporters, sponsors, and invited guests – as well as representatives from the Longwarry Football and Netball Club, who also played a crucial role on the day in helping to raise in excess of $6750 for charity.
“I had unfortunately heard those dreaded words: ‘you have cancer’.”
“This photo was taken on a breast cancer fundraiser day that was put on by the clubs four years ago. I’d been through the diagnosis of breast cancer, and I’d been through the lumpectomy. I was in the middle of my chemo treatment and I was still to go through radiation and hormonal treatment, which I’m still on for another 15 months and, yes, I am on countdown for that.
“This photo captures a person who is smiling and enjoying being surrounded by her friends, and the lovely support of our club. But it wasn’t always that way.”
Wendy admitted to battling with the ‘why me?’ side of her diagnosis.
“There were days where I just wanted to lay in bed and hide,” she said.
“I was 32, and I had two young children aged four and three, and a loving husband and great family and friends, and I’d just been appointed into a job that I’d wanted for a very long time.
“I shouldn’t have to be dealing with this, and it wasn’t my plan for life.
“But it’s not in anybody’s plan to be diagnosed with this horrid disease. Many people in this room will know someone who’s had this awful disease impose itself on their lives.
“It’s relentless – it’s an exhausting time of your life, and unfortunately sometimes the disease is just too powerful and we lose our loved ones.
“I consider myself very lucky – I was very lucky to have caught it early, and I’m here to tell my story.
“Telling (husband) Lee and my mum and dad was the hardest, along with the kids. “But, when you get a reaction of “Oh, ok. Can you come and push me on the swing?” things move on pretty quickly!”
Wendy’s presentation also focussed on the power of having such a supporting club behind her in her hour of need.
“This club is built on community – it brings people together from our town and the surrounding areas for the love of football and netball, but it’s also a lot more than that, which was demonstrated to me during my cancer treatment,” she said.
“The netball club provided me a refuge – when I didn’t want to face the world, but I needed to get out of the house, I could come to netball knowing I could just simply walk up and down the court without the expectation of having to explain how I was feeling, or what the latest update was. I could just be Wendy the person, not ‘Wendy the cancer patient’.”
Wendy played right through her treatment – both chemo, and radiation.
“I would play every third Saturday, before having chemo on the Monday. Then I’d play during radiation until my skin was too sore and sensitive to continue playing.
That was about four weeks into the six-week radiation treatment,” she said.
“Playing gave me a really significant goal, and a driver for me to get through the treatment. Without it I don’t think I would have been able to manage the side-effects of the treatment of chemo and radiation as well as I did.
“This could have been seen as really disruptive to the team and to the club, however coach Renalle (Casey) and the A Grade girls didn’t bat an eyelid and encouraged me to get out there, and for that I will always be extremely grateful.
“Being active during treatment is highly-encouraged, and being a part of this club gave me a reason to do it.”
It truly is a club that, to her, is family.
“Before cancer I was trying to do it all and be everything to everyone, as I’m sure many people in this room try to do, and I felt that if I wasn’t doing it all that in some way I was failing,” she said, before stepping out on to the court to face the Crows recently.
“But, cancer taught me to stop and I don’t have to do it all, and it’s ok to let people help.
“I’ve got to get out there on the court with that bunch of girls, who I love, and I just wanted to say thank you to this club and the people who make it so great. Every time I pull on my dress and don the Lang Lang colours, I’m so very proud
Today I will be putting my colours on in recognition of those who’re going through cancer treatment, which include my mum and my aunty.”
The second key speaker of the day was AFL icon Stan Alves. He played 266 across a career with Melbourne and North Melbourne, was part of the Kangaroos’ 1977 premiership side, was a two-time winner of the Melbourne best and fairest – the Keith ‘Bluey’ Truscott Medal, is a former Demons skipper, and is a member of Melbourne’s Team of the Century and Hall of Fame.
But his presentation went well beyond the field.
“It’s an interesting thing – we hear about that insidious disease, but we always think it’s going to happen to somebody else until we actually hear it first-hand, and to me the poignant thing was how she (Wendy) not only talked about herself, but also the effect it had on, especially, her beautiful children and husband,” Alves said of Thom’s speech.
“I’m most appreciative I’m here today and have the opportunity to be a part of this day.”
Alves spoke about how lucky he is in life – through everything he’s achieved, and the quality relationship he’s formed along the way.
And it’s those relationships that have helped him through his own darkest hours.
“Being involved in this game – especially at club level – it taught me and prepared me as a youngster to be able to play the toughest game of all, and that’s the game of life,” the former St Kilda coach said.
“Sport teaches you how to be resilient; how to handle adversity; how to bounce back from failure in that situation.
“Unfortunately, my experience tells me that there are a lot of people out there today who don’t have that, and when something goes wrong they think it’s the end of the world.
“It’s not what happens to you in life, it’s what you do about it.”
Alves said the most important lesson he learned from sport was just how crucial meaningful relationships with people are.
“So much of where we are now comes about because of people who have come into our lives,” he explained.
“People have come into your life, and you’ve picked up something of value from that person.
“Have you got somebody in your corner? Is there somebody there for you in your time of need?
“There are times we’ll be down, but if there’s somebody there for us in our corner, that’s the catalyst for being able to bounce back.”
Alves’ 13-year-old son Matthew was tragically struck and killed by a train in 1989.
But through the heartbreak, Alves emerged a stronger person.
“We lost a son, our daughter had lost her brother, and I’ve got to tell you I lost the plot,” Alves said of the hardest point of his life.
“I was supposed to be this mucho guy – a leader of clubs – and now I’m lost.
“I’m lost and in a spiral. I used to go to work, sit at my desk, and just cry all day.
“I’d come home and go straight to bed. Why? Because I was hoping if I dreamt about him, I could be with him. That’s where I was. Then all of a sudden, I got a knock on the door at work…”
At the door were Ken Sheldon and Peter Hudson, then involved at the St Kilda Football Club. Sheldon was about to embark on his coaching stint at the club, with Hudson his football manager.
They wanted Alves to come down and help out the club’s younger players. He wasn’t interested at first, until one day Sheldon said – according to Alves – “Stan, before you speak, and I know you told us to nick off, let me say this to you: You’re going through a tough time. We understand that and that situation, but I’m going to be blunt with you mate – you’ve lost your son, don’t lose your wife and daughter. You’re trying to get your life together, and you’ve forgotten about them. What about them?”
Alves explained just how crucial it was for Sheldon and Hudson to reach out to him.
“It wasn’t just a time I got back into footy – it was a time I got back into life,” he said.
“Can you see why I’m saying – how lucky am I? How lucky am I that I get all of this adulation, only because people were there for me in my time of need? Why am I so committed to footy? Why am I so committed to clubs? Because they sell the dream, and give people the chance to come and be a part of something.
“It’s not just out there on the field – there’s a whole range of other people who are in your corner and will do things for you. It adds up to one thing – the importance of cubs in community, because clubs in community turn out quality people, and – as a result – quality communities, and it’s just what we want. It goes far beyond the game, and sometimes we just need to step back for a fraction to understand that.”
