By sports editor Russell Bennett
“You’re not walking this journey on your own – you’re never on your own.”
Jason Wells, one of Gippsland’s genuine star forwards, and Bobbie Lee Blay – a mother figure to so many throughout the region – know just how tough it is right now to go through the year without community footy.
In the case of Wells, beyond the tattoos, flashy boots, and enthusiastic goal celebrations, is a man who battles his demons just like so many others.
So, he’s made the courageous decision to step out from under the shadows of stigma to talk about his own mental health battles, as a way of encouraging other young men in the community to do the same.
Self-isolation has played a key role in helping combat Covid-19, but it’s had a significant mental health impact on many throughout the community, who’ve had an extra roadblock placed in between them and their physical connection to their friends and family.
Wells lives and breathes for his two beautiful kids, Jada and Levi.
That’s exactly where he’s focussing his energy in such a challenging period, and right there with him – as a key pillar of support – is his great friend, Bobbie Lee.
They’ve formed a unique bond since they first met seven years ago, and have ever-present lines of communication to help each other through.
It’s through sport in the Gippsland community that Bobbie Lee – a former Gippsland Power trainer who’s currently involved in the player welfare and leadership space at the Dalyston Football Netball Club – has forged so many relationships that will last a lifetime.
It’s many of those same people throughout the region who have stood by her in recent weeks, and in her darkest hour.
Jason is one of those people.
Last year, Bobbie Lee’s beloved daughter Macey was killed in car crash on a quiet country road. She was just 27.
The impact of Macey’s loss was felt far and wide, but through the pain – through the grief – a shining light emerged for Bobbie Lee and her family: the wider Gippsland footy community wrapping its arms around them right when they’ve needed it most.
And now, with such a proud sporting region doing it tough without sport as an outlet, Bobbie Lee and Jason are there to listen, to provide a non-judgemental ear, and – through their own stories – to inspire those facing their own isolation battles.
“For me, as a lot of people know, footy is a kind of therapy,” Jason explained.
“I use footy as a way of expressing myself, of showing how I feel.
“My whole week is based around it – when it gets to Thursdays and Fridays it’s always what I’m thinking about, and I wake up on Saturday morning and look out the window and see what the weather’s doing, things like that.
“I just miss the whole thing – the community, and seeing people I’ve waited all week to see.”
In fact, every Friday night during the season when they were younger, Jason would wash his footy boots with his brothers, Danny and Casey.
They’d dry them off, and put them in front of the heater, and Jason would even sleep in his footy gear, with a Sherrin right by his side.
“I’d wake up at seven o’clock the morning of a game, and we’d have porridge for breakfast as well as a hot Milo with glucose.
“These are some of the things I really remember.”
And now, through a 2020 winter without footy, Jason misses the hug he gets from his kids as he walks off the ground – win, loss, or draw.
Not having that outlet has been more than challenging.
“I’ve even used alcohol and drugs at times to deal with it, but as we know you wake up the next morning feeling terrible.”
That, alone, is a stark admission from one of the region’s most recognisable footy faces, but it’s also one that would resonate with many.
“For me, right now, it’s all about seeing my kids as much as possible. We can’t see anyone else, but the kids have been massive for me, personally,” he said.
When footy does ultimately get underway once again, for every goal Jason kicks for Longwarry in the next Ellinbank and District Football League season, he’ll donate money for mental health awareness causes.
Through Mindfull Aus CEO, and founder Matt Runnalls, he’s organised a number of local businesses and organisations to sponsor him, so he can donate for every goal he boots.
“The whole reason I’m doing this is to encourage other people to come forward and speak about these things, because I was definitely one of those people who, as a 17 or 18-year-old, would never talk to anyone about them,” Jason said.
“I really feel good about what I’ve been doing lately – receiving messages from people I don’t even know, and how they feel. That’s the whole reason I’m doing this – to encourage other people.”
And Jason and Bobbie Lee are a constant source of encouragement for each other.
“Bob and I talk a couple of times a week about absolutely anything – things I wouldn’t talk to most people about – but I think it’s more about talking to someone who understands you,” Jason said.
“It’s being able to feel confident, and Bob and I have a great connection – I can tell her anything and she’ll know how I feel.”
For her part, Bobbie Lee said it’s crucial to be able to confide in someone who’ll simply listen.
“Just having someone there to truly listen is vital,” she said.
“We don’t always have to understand or have the answers – it’s just about having that empathy for somebody and know that life isn’t easy.
“There are others out there who are struggling on their own and don’t know where to turn or look, and we’re missing out on that human contact right now and that’s where we pick up on a lot of these things. Jase and I have reached out to each other.
“I don’t think a lot of people truly realise the power sport holds for a lot of people.
“It provides that connection, that belonging, and I think it provides some people with a real sense of identity.”
Jason said his spirits start to soar when he thinks about the positive effect his story has already had on many.
“It’s just unreal how many people you can reach and relate to,” he said.
“It’s great that it opens the door for other people to feel like they’re comfortable to talk and share their own stories.
“I think most people feel more comfortable knowing that other people are experiencing the same thing.”
And right now, the whole community is united in the battle against the Covid-19 pandemic.
“You’re not walking this journey on your own – you’re never on your own,” Bobbie Lee said.
“I’d just urge people to reach out to others, and to fill the void in a healthy way.
“Even if everyone reaches out to a couple of people a day and checks in on them and how they’re traveling, that’s massive.
“It could mean you’ve touched someone – that you’ve helped someone, you don’t even realise.
“It means a lot when people reach out to us, and I think we need to return the favour.”
Bobbie Lee said maintaining a sense of routine on days that otherwise feel as if they’re almost blending into one is vital.
“Even just getting out of bed, having a shower, and making your bed, and having breakfast is the key thing,” she said.
“Routine is just so important at the start of each day, and that plays a big part.”
In the first of the Gazette’s ‘It’s more than a game’ series last week, Runnalls spoke of the impact of the pandemic on the broader community.
“What’s happening is horrific, challenging, and bizarre but in many ways we have to look at it like it won’t happen again, so while we’re here let’s make the most of it – let’s make the most of the opportunity of having a bit more time on our hands to pick up the phone, or go online to reach out to people who might be struggling,” he said.
“Let’s not be set on waiting for people to reach out to us, either. We see that message all the time – ‘I’m always here and my door is always open’.
“But sometimes people don’t need to just hear that or read it – what they need to do is experience it. We need to start reaching out as people who care, and not expect people who are struggling to scream it from the rafters because it often won’t happen.”
Those seeking help should contact: Lifeline on 13 11 14 or by visiting www.lifeline.org.au; Beyond Blue at 1300 22 46 36 or beyondblue. org.au; Kids Helpline at 1800 55 1800 or www.kidshelpline.com.au; or MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78.
