TELEVISION is a wonderful medium that informs, educates and broadens minds. It also gives us Wipeout.
This mindless show is little more than a short-course race that sees competitors slip, slide and stumble around a series of heavily padded obstacles. It’s a show for those who enjoy watching their fellow human beings punish themselves for the viewer’s entertainment.
I can’t stop watching it. I want to, but I can’t.
Still in the thrall of my newly acquired set top box, I flick through the channels, bewildered by the cornucopia of culture on offer.
If it’s not Knight Rider taking me on a thrill ride, it’s rodeo riding direct from Calgary or an SBS 4 documentary on Spain’s underground gay architect scene under General Franco. It’s all must-watch TV.
But if there’s one word that stops the remote control in its tracks, it’s Wipeout.
The colourful set is the first thing that catches the eye. It’s like a children’s playground on methamphetamine. Huge red bouncy balls as big as cars send competitors into uncontrolled spins towards the safety of the water below. Ouch.
The ‘wall of punches’ sees hapless contestants creep across a thin board while boxing-gloved fists fly at their heads at random moments. That’s gotta hurt.
A personal favourite is where the competitors get to throw balls at the head of a single contestant who is trying to cross a slippery bridge. Very Lord of the Flies. The clever producers even add Funniest Home Video-like sound effects that make painful moments all the more amusing – Boing!
The show is almost undermined by commentators whose inane observations and poor attempts at wit only detract from the spectacle. But with a winning formula like Wipeout, there is little chance they can ruin the show.
True to its name, this show wipes out precious moments of my life and probably wipes out badly needed brain cells. But like the wild-eyed contestants at their starting blocks, I just have to grab the remote, clear my mind of any rational thought and plunge back into the Wipeout zone.
– Danny Buttler
