Two and a half wits

– Justin Robertson
WHAT has happened to TV comedy? Tuesday nights at 7.30pm on Channel 9 have fast become a complete bore. Stop hiding behind that wall, I’m looking in your direction Two and a Half Men.
The show, created by Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn, is apparently a “comedy”? The show’s ratings are through the roof and fallen star Charlie Sheen even has a facebook group “I wish Charlie Sheen was my uncle” dedicated to him. But, I can’t help thinking that comedic legend John Candy would be twitching all over in his grave each time it airs.
Here’s why: it’s just not funny.
Charlie (Charlie Sheen) a jingle writer, lives in Malibu with his divorced brother Alan (Jon Cryer) and Alan’s son Jake (Angus T. Jones). Alan and Jake live vicariously through “cool” Charlie’s mishaps and encounters and Charlie thrives on making Alan’s life a misery – as brothers do. On paper it’s meant to be a riot, a recipe for disaster, but it ends up coming across as disastrously bad, cringe-worthy and somewhat of a yawn-fest.
After watching last week’s episode, I quickly discovered this lame duck called a TV show has not contributed anything to comedy at all. It preys on the easiest joke and is crude for the sake of being crude. It has enough cheese to make a family margarita pizza every night for a whole year. Canned comedy can work and has worked for shows such as Friends and King of Queens, but it fails here – miserably.
During the episode that I watched, Charlie, Alan and Jake hit the movies. For the entire scene Charlie and Alan bicker at each other about where the best place to sit in the theatre would be. It aimlessly went on and on, lacking punch lines and direction. They ended up sitting in separate seats on different sides of the cinema, arms folded and giving each other “funny” stares. Hilarious, right? I felt like I was trapped in a train wreck waiting for the jaws of life to yank me out. That scene would have run much better as a silent movie, that way I think I would have appreciated it a lot more without the appalling and very much dated jokes aimed at pre-teens.
If the god-awful script doesn’t bother you, the incessant laugh track after every so-called pun certainly will. (Cue laughter). I mean, who wants to be told when to laugh? (Cue laughter). Seriously. (Cue laughter). Being told when to laugh at bigoted wise-cracks, well, it’s downright insulting. If I wanted to watch something mind-numbing, I would rather opt for a guilty pleasure show like Laguna Beach, at least you know upfront what you get and you are not waiting for something that will never arrive. It’ll be two and a half years before I watch Two and a Half Men again, and I’ll be praying it no longer exists by then.