REBECCA Possamai, 34, suffered through morning sickness, was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and gave birth to her first born Kiara prematurely at 33 weeks. All were quite common problems associated with pregnancy and childbirth, but she never expected to be faced with the next challenge thrown at her and her husband Phil.
After a week of having to be apart from Kiara, who was in special care, and feeling pressured to provide enough milk to feed her new baby, a sleep-deprived Bec said her mind “went crazy.”
“I was sitting, holding my baby, and thought the nurses and I were kangaroos and I had to put Kiara in my pouch,” Bec said.
Phil tried to take Kiara when he saw Bec trying to put her into her pants, but when Bec refused, the nurses stepped in.
“The nurses had to force her off of me,” Bec said.
“They knew something was wrong with me and took me to emergency at Monash Hospital. When this happened, I thought back to when I was in a car accident and thought the same thing was happening again- but that my baby had died in it.”
After being admitted to the hospital, Bec was certain she was on the television series All Saints.
Bec’s husband was petrified watching his wife fall into an unfamiliar downward spiral.
Because she was unco-operative with medical staff, Bec was held down and sedated and spent four weeks in a psych ward where she was medicated and confused.
“I could only see my daughter for half an hour a day with supervision from a psych nurse. It made me feel like a monster. I never had thoughts of harming her, but I understand why I wasn’t allowed to see her,” Bec said.
“Phil would go to the special care nursery and feed her, then come back and spend time with me.“
After four weeks in the psych ward, Bec and Kiara spent three weeks in a mother-baby unit at Monash Hospital, where they had 24-hour care. After the psychotic feelings left, Bec battled depression.
Bec had a lot of visitors while in hospital, but said most people did not realise or understand the depth of her condition.
“A lot of them don’t see psychosis as a chronic illness. People who were close to me thought it was depression. It’s hard for people to understand because many people who suffer from it are silent about it,” she said.
“Some people think it stems from drug-use or a history of mental illness, but I never had any of that.”
Bec continued to see a psychologist and psychiatrist, but after six months, she went back into the mother-baby unit with depression.
A second bout of psychosis came in 2012, after Bec had a miscarriage.
“I thought Satan was going to get me and I was yelling and swearing at him to leave,” she said.
“My neighbours heard me screaming and called the police, but Phil told them he thought I had psychosis again.”
The paramedics took Bec to Casey Hospital, where she spent another three weeks. After she was dismissed, she was supported by the Raphael Centre in Berwick, where she had psychology sessions.
Professionals from the Raphael Centre monitored Bec when she fell pregnant a third time, and though the pregnancy went well, she again had psychosis five weeks after giving birth to her son Jett.
“It was a sudden onset. I became really scared of black things- I thought they were evil spirits,” she said.
Phil called the ambulance and took care of the children while Bec spent two more weeks in the psych ward. She refused to drink, eat or sleep and had to endure four rounds of electric conductive therapy, also known as shock treatment.
“The hope was that the electric currents through my brain would give it a ‘restart’ and get me out of the psychotic patterns.”
Bec then spent another four weeks in the mother-baby unit at Monash Hospital.
After being released she had to take anti-depressant, mood stabilisers and an anti-psychotic. Bec and Phil have decided not to try for any more children after doctors warned she could suffer psychosis again and may never come out of it.
Bec has now stopped taking medication and said she felt great. Besides spending time with her loving family, Bec works as a doula to give support to pregnant women.
“Considering what I have been through, I can relate to different people’s circumstances,” she said.
“I think anyone who has had a baby knows how strong a woman is. I am so proud of women- they are so strong and amazing. I think every woman is a warrior.”
For more information on Bec’s doula services, visit www.byyoursidedoulaservices.com.au.
