By KATHRYN BERMINGHAM
IN her own words, Robyn Bankie had one year of marriage and 20 years of abuse.
Last Wednesday 25 November, she joined scores of others who marched the streets of Pakenham to mark White Ribbon Day and speak out against family violence.
Holding a sign that read ‘bruises don’t always show’ and chanting for an end to violence, Robyn said she had come to the march alone to support other women who were in her situation.
It was five years ago that she escaped her own abusive relationship.
“I was reading articles in the Herald Sun and I realised that that was me. I was in that situation,” she said.
“My son kept saying to me, ‘Please leave Dad, Mum.’”
Robyn went to a refuge, where she was provided with help in removing her belongings and finding alterative accommodation.
Things were initially difficult, but five years on, she says her life is much easier and more stable now.
“It’s definitely more peaceful. I don’t have to worry anymore.”
Thanks to campaigns like White Ribbon Day, attitudes towards domestic violence are changing for the better.
Since the beginning of her own relationship, Robyn said the issue was treated completely differently.
“There’s an awareness of it now as opposed to 20 years ago. No-one spoke about it then,” she said.
Robyn understands better than most the difficulty associated with escaping abusive relationships, and said her love and devotion to her former husband made the decision a particularly difficult one.
“Like most battered wives, I loved him,” she said.
“But every three months it would happen and there was nothing I could do to stop it or change it.”
Her advice to other women would be to take it slowly and speak up.
“Live with him before you get married because then you really find out what a person is like,” she said.
“And stand up for yourself. Always stand up for yourself.”
