By Aneeka Simonis
SHE spent years running from her obsessive, gambling ex-husband until she couldn’t anymore.
Bella*, 65, from Pakenham, said she and her girls moved house to house, state to state up to 40 times to escape her crazed ex-husband in the early ’90s, up until the girls started high school.
She decided on a steady home, wrote up her will and finalised her insurance – making arrangements that would provide long-term support for her girls in the case that her ex-husband went through with his threats to kill her.
“I thought, if he kills me, he kills me. I am not running anymore.”
Bella said her ex-husband would stalk her and her children, driving rings around their Brisbane home and bombarding her with death threats – right up until the day it all escalated.
That was the day she found him with a knife in her home.
Before that day, a very special police officer was there at almost every call-out to her home, standing back and watching quietly.
At the time, Bella thought he regarded her as a “stupid woman” for needing such frequent police intervention, but she was far from right.
During her panicked call to police, Bella said Holland Park policeman Graham Allan Smith simply replied: “I’m going to get him.”
Bella said her ex-husband was jailed for six months – and has kept away ever since.
She wrote a book about her six-year struggle trying to shake off her abusive, gambling ex, The Journey of a Gambler’s Wife, and is desperately search for the now retired police officer to tell him just how big an impact he had on helping her and her children find a better life.
So far, all her efforts to find the life-saving officer have not worked – so Bella is calling on the social web to connect her with Graham.
“I never got to thank him. I was young, emotional … in my own world,” she said.
“He was one of the best officers … he understood our suffering.”
Bella met her ex-husband over the phone while living overseas with her three girls from a previous marriage.
Less than a year into her marriage, she knew all was not right.
She claimed her ex-husband pawned her car, withdrew sums of her money by falsely claiming her mother had died and stole from their non-English speaking babysitter to fund his gambling habits.
“I had no idea (until the sister’s) niece came to the house accusing we had stolen her money. My whole life fell apart at that moment. I thought if she wasn’t there … how was I going to work or feed my children?”
Bella said her kids, aged 31- 43, had gone on to live happy, successful lives.
If you know Graham and want to help Bella reconnect with him, get in touch with the Gazette office on (03) 5945 0666.
*Pseudonym used to protect victim’s identity.
