Nailing the perfect nickname

The sight of ‘Tickets Jnr’ running out to the middle got Gazette Photographer Stewart Chambers thinking. 269641 Pictures: STEWART CHAMBERS

By Stewart Chambers

A few weeks ago at Cardinia the cheers went up as the Bulls got another wicket.

A young kid ran out to the playing group juggling four water bottles with ‘TICKETS JNR’ on his back, receiving encouragement from the pavilion ‘Go Tickets go!’

William ‘Tickets Junior’ is the son of Trent ‘Tickets’ Wheller…it’s good to see nicknames handed down to the next generation.

There are some great names out there and here’s a small sample of what you can hear on a sunny Saturday arvo where ball meets willow in West Gippy.

Still at Cardy they have some good ones Bradey Welsh ‘Silk’, Dean Henwood ‘Moose’, Brady Boswell ‘The Dev’ (short for the Devil) – his shirt number is also 666 – Josh Browne ‘Grub’, Joshua Grogan ‘Rogan Josh’, Jacobus ‘Witness’ Hynes, Travis Welsh ‘Ham’ and legendary off spinner Dwayne Doig is known as ‘Funk’ after the Australian spinner Colin ‘Funky’ Miller.

At Officer, the club known as the ‘Bullants’ was named after Paul Simon put on his box at training and was bitten on the scrotum by a Bullant!

Nick McLennan copped ‘Stuey Dew’ from Cooper Pursell. Cooper Pursell himself is now known as ‘Swamp Monster’, having recently played for Iona, the Swamp Tigers, as a marquee player. Player Brett Monagle gets ‘Basil Faulty’ as his nickname.

Down the road at Kooweerup Ron Bright Snr is known as ‘Pommy’ having been born and bred in England. His son Chris is called ‘Wombat’.

When at high school his teacher was talking about wombats and mid-sentence, asked Chris to sit down because he was causing a kerfuffle. Subsequently, his mates started calling him a ‘wombat’ after she said he was a fine example of the species!

Another one from the Bright family is Matt who was given ‘Mushie’, dating from when he was bowling leg spin as a kid and after Mushtaq Ahmed…he also rolls now with ‘Stacka’.

Chris O’Hara is affectionately known as ‘Tubsy’ – in reference to his slender figure and in homage to the great Australian captain Mark ‘Tubby’ Taylor.

Jess Mathers gets ‘Toggs’, after Mathers Bathers, a company that used to produce swimwear.

There have been some good names at Pakenham.

Dale McCraw got ‘Bucky’, apparently from his teeth as a kid. Scotty Webster got ‘Boycott’ (as in Geoffrey) from blocking out an innings…but still to this day he claims to have saved the game!

Ben Maroney got ‘Budgie’ from his dad because he doesn’t shut up. The grey hair of Trevor Dyker gets ‘Silver Fox’, David ‘Slammer’ Searle and John Galloway was known as ‘The Human Pad’.

Current-day Pakenham blokes have some interesting ones as well. Dale Tormey cops ‘Chief’ for being in the police force. Jason Williams has the lifelong name of ‘Boof’ after having a large head as a kid.

Troy McDermott is ‘Duck’, after his days bowling spin with Don ‘Duck ‘Kerslake at Beaconsfield. As for Sean Gramc his nickname is ‘Horsey’, but we might let that one through to the keeper.

At the Cougar camp in Clyde, Daniel Lever is ‘Plugga’. Bowler Josh King was called ‘The Sultan of Spin’ until he changed up his tempo and now he’s called ‘The Sultan of Swing’.

Zac Sheppard – part-time bush doof, doof DJ at Nyora – has the nickname ‘Symbols’ for his work with the gloves while wicket keeping. Tristan Walton seems to get any variation from ‘Spud’ and is currently rocking with ‘Mr Potato Head’.

Tooradin has a few crackers too.

In days gone by there has been Greg ‘Big Boy’ Bethune, Rick ‘Dutchy’ Holland and Brendan Anderson apparently liked being called ‘Dish’. Currently the Seagull’s have Cal O’Hare called ‘Froffies’, doesn’t mind a beer, and BJ Parrott rolls with ‘Rollsy’ after eating two bread rolls at a wedding.

Russell Lehman allegedly even dubbed himself ‘Goose’ after the great Simon Goosey!

Devon Meadows has some belters, some not fit for publication…but here’s a few from Panther-land.

Mick Floyd’s brother, Chris, was coming on to bowl one day and the scorers asked his name. Instead of hearing ‘Floyd’ they heard ‘Void’, so from that day on Chris has been known as ‘Nullen’, as in Chris ‘Nullen Void’.

Andrew Torney didn’t have a nickname so while batting they decided whatever shot he plays next will be his nickname… welcome to the club, ‘Leaver’.

If you’re rolling the arm over on the weekend in whatever grade you are playing, enjoy the banter that comes with your nickname…as it all adds to the fabric of the great game of local cricket.