The Mentor
Channel 7, Mondays, 9pm
It’s amazing the difference a fresh set of eyes can make – in every sense of the word.
Ex-Apprentice host, money-making guru Mark Bouris allegedly pitched this one to Seven as the complete package (ironic for a bloke who was a Nine star – but maybe he tried them too).
So here he is in prime time again, treading the path so well-worn in reality TV.
In truth, it’s no different to the way shown by Gordon Ramsay – come into a business with a new outlook and a commonsense plan.
Bouris’s debut target was a family real estate company, all members of which gave up good jobs and salaries, to slowly drive each other mad in a home real estate office in the ’burbs.
And sell not very many houses at all.
Much attention focused on daughter Stephanie, the star of some truly bizarre home video advertisements that wouldn’t inspire you to borrow a cup of sugar from this mob, much less buy a house.
Bouris is most dismissive of “The Stephanie Show“ and there are tears before bedtime – which is of course the point.
Much weirdness also surrounds their chosen handle of “Ubiquitous“ real estate. The advantage of a business name few can pronounce, and even fewer understand, remains opaque. It’s safe to say their market presence is far from ubiquitous.
In much the same way as a horror stint of work experience teaches you something (i.e. what you don’t want to do) it seems the main thing this freaky family has learned is that they’re taking the wrong path in life.
Bouris makes the point that the family was probably pulling the better part of half a million dollars annually into the household between them, in their old jobs.
And, frankly, they’d be better off doing that – see, he’s made them money already.
But the usual formula of a new name, spruce-up and even a sausage sizzle is ritually and rigorously applied.
In week two, the great man saddled up to ride to the rescue of a failing florist in Cronulla.
“No-one’s spoken to me like that since I was in school,“ the poor petal moans after their initial encounter.
Has Bouris made this fading flower a trading triffid? Only time will tell, readers …
– Jason Beck
